The school bus will come in another 20 minutes. Usually it doesn’t, but today I felt an urge to violence surging in me. I thought, what is to be done? This is the part where violence makes the appearance. I shall not shout. I shall not force. I shall not even stop smiling.
It was 5:30 am, and Aadi was refusing to take shower without Ash attending to him, who is busy feeding Anand. Usually I grab him. But not today. I tried to grab Aadi’s attention with a new story. But he is obstinate and whines for her. What irritated me more was the mechanical rhythm of his whine. There was no argument. Just obstinacy.
Boy, do you know how ruthless the outside world is to me? Will you ever know the cold pressure it puts on me to clean and dress you, to reach you at the bus stop on time, in short , to make you civil ? You will, when you have a child.
Violence delivers quickly. But violence is remembered. Every time I resort to violence, he goes a bit far away from me. The very act of his crying for his mother is a testimony to this fact.
May be I should not translate the violence of the outside world directly for him. The umpteen number of rules to follow should not stop him to love his childhood.
Finally, I failed to persuade him to take the shower with me. I asked for help from my wife. While brushing him, my wife found that he had a fever. Why couldn’t I find it? God! What would have happened if I had employed force! It is very hard to be non-violent. But it is the right way.
Eat, Sleep and Play. I didn’t get it right. This was the play bit.